If you are responding to the Observer article, you've come to the right place. Please feel free to leave your comments here about the article or you may ask questions, but do leave feedback.
Once you've read Painted Dresses, please visit booksellers websites such as Amazon or CBD and please leave feedback for me. Thanks!
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Wow! I came home from church to a full blogger box. I will post the contest winners Monday morning along with instructions on how the winners will receive their books. I need your first and last name--but don't leave other info for the sake of your privacy. . .
This is amazing. I'm thrilled that such an energy draining journey has resulted in a life-giving story. Thank you!
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35 comments:
I am amazed at the writing process, having absolutely no talent in that arena! Your journey from discomfort to the spark of plot line to a confirmation of reality is the epitome of my favorite word: "serendipitous" !! Thank you for opening a window into your very personal travels.
Kathy B
Mrs. Hickman,
I just read the article about "Painted Dresses" and would really like to read your book. I find your story compelling although painful as well.
Thank you.
Sandra M
Patty -
Thanks for sharing and therefore helping those that deal with this terrible abuse. Sadly, your story is one that is too frequently repeated.
I come from a middle class family of four girls and two of my younger sisters were sexualy molested by a neighbor for about two years (age range 8-10 and 12-14) This never came to light until they were in their thirties but has had a dramatic affect on their lives and still does. Multiple divorces, physical abuse, alcohol and continued struggles invade their lives on through their forties. Their lives have been dramatically different than my other sisters and mine. This also has an affect on so many other family members from parents to their own children.
Thank you for sharing your story. I will read your book and then offer it to my sisters. Mostly I wish I could fix their story. We pray and talk and for awhile the wound seems healed and then out of the blue the ugly thing raises its head.
May God's peace and love be with you.
Ms. Hickman,
Just read the Charlotte Observer article and was moved to write you. I am not your "normal" audience member (I am male,married, 50's) and I have never read any of your works. However, we too have experienced the pain of loosing a child (15 yr.old son in a car accident) and our world has been shaken up. I pray that your pain is healed and that you continue to write and touch the hearts of those who are searching.
May God bless you always!
Even though I was not molested as a child, I understand the pain of childhood and know that it does effect us as adults. After my Mother died 3 years ago, I went through a terrible time of flash backs and guilt from not being sorry that she was dead. With God's help and an understanding sister, I have come out of the depression and have come to have pity for my Mother and all that she missed in her life. Thank you for your honesty. It is very liberating to hear another woman's story and I look forward to reading more of your work.
It seems so unusual for me to respond..I've never left a message on a blogspot. My husband died Sept. 2007 and that event turned my emotional world upside down...but, I think I have finally turned a corner as I have worked so hard to rebuild my life...determined to live a full life...as for the loss of a child, I cannot imagine the pain you have experienced...for me too my faith has sustained me...
Jacquelyn Mate
Hickory, NC
Patty,
I am very interested in reading Painted Dresses. My dearest friend that I've known the longest was sexually abused when she was in 3rd grade by a stranger to her. He was a boy trying to seek revenge on her older brother. I know the trauma she has lived with, but has mostly overcome.
I am sure your book will help many to take the steps to begin to heal from the ravages of sexual abuse.
Good morning,
I must admit that this is the first time that I have ever blogged. Yes I am, as my two college student children remind me often, technology impaired. I went to your blog site and a window popped up. I filled it then tried to send it...that didn't work. So I then filled out the info to have a Goggle account. You may receive one, two or none of my efforts.
I know of you from my neighbor who took me to hear you in December. I truly enjoyed the evening and believe that you are most interesting.
This is a shortened version of my first blog, but I must hurry to get dressed for church!
I would love to have a copy of your new book to read. I hope you have a wonderful day!
I just finished reading the story in the Charlotte Observer and am "wowed" by your courage. Your book, Painted Dresses, sounds so interesting to me. I know just from what I've read in the Charlotte Observer story that it will be an awesome book. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
I was really moved by Pam Kelley's article - and your story. Having also been a "hair puller" I know that it is a symptom of emotional distress and helplessness. The fact that you exhibited this behavior so early and that it ended so abruptly when your relative left strongly supports your conclusion about its cause. Poor little girl! My heart goes out for the child you once were and for the unconscious load you have been carrying all your life.
I also want to express my heartfelt sympathy for the loss of your daughter, Jessica.
P.S. This is the first time I have ever been on a blog. Hope I have done this correctly.
Thank you for such an insightful and courageous article. Your book is on my list for summer reading - once school is finished. I can't wait to get started. Thanks.
Thank you for having the courage to share your journey with Observer readers. I was sexually abused (along with my sister) by my stepfather when I was a child. Unfortunately, he was not sent away. He died in February and I agree that death can certainly "shake things loose." I attend a faith-based recovery program called Celebrate Recovery that has helped me to face my pain. I am really looking forward to reading Painted Dresses.
Jenny N.
Hi Patty,
I just read your story in the Observer and I'm so inspired. I'm in awe of your courage to share with so many about what you've been through. It's funny how we decide a person's life by what they look like never really knowing the story behind the story. Because of you many people will be able to confront secrets long forgotten. You are a blessing to many.
All the best,
Tiffany
Hello Patty, I was moved this morning by the article in The Observer about Painted Dresses. The transparency of your story is amazing. I'm sure many women, and even men, will be helped by reading your book of your journey to healing. Unfortunately, I can relate to much of what I read about your book. I too was emotionally injured as a child. I am 44 yrs. old now raising my 13 yr old daughter, and I've never shared my dark past with my husband or best friends. I guess I am embarrassed by it. But I'm so glad to hear that your journey to discovery has led to peaceful nights of sleep.
I look forward to reading Painted Dresses in its entirety. And I hope to some day be courageous enough to write about my past hurts and be a blessing to others as you. Thank you for your devotion to your writing ministry.
God bless you!
MJ Lewis
Charlotte, NC
When I read the lead on about the article on the front page, I instinctively knew what the story would be about. As I finished the article, I knew I had to comment because this is more than a story about a woman who writes story and is redefined in the process; this is the story of so many people who have no voice. As a woman who has faced down molestations and rape; I know what it means to share this sensitive story. My own search has lead me to birth a foundation that I believe God wants to use to bring healing. It is no accident that I read this article or live in Charlotte and you in Huntersville. Separated by miles, yes, but close in spirit by what God has allowed. One day I should like to personally speak with you about how He has turned what was once misery into ministry and a mission for me. My website goes live this week and I would like you to visit it www.dearlittlefoundation.org
After reading the article this a.m. it made me realize how close I came to being molested as a child. Haven't thought about it in a while.
Patty - Beautiful display of bravery in the Observer article and Painted Dresses. I look forward to reading your novel. nhbwriter@bellsouth.net
Patty,
I was deeply moved by your personal story. The only way you had to face your demons was to write about in. Your are such an inspiration! May your faith gives you strenght and hope.
The story about you in the Observer was just amazing. I cannot wait to read your book.
Brenda
Patricia,
This was a very interesting article. I work with clients in counseling and find that I can provide help by going back in their childhood memories.I would love to read your book. Do you offer classes on writing locally?
Hi! I'm in Fort Mill, SC and just finished your article. I'm actually in the midst of writing my first novel and was drawn to the article. I found it fascinating that writing could bring out your past like that. Bless you for having the courage to share your story.
I would love to have a copy of your book Painted Dresses. Thank you!
Amy Bennett
amyjbennett@gmail.com
I was reading the Charlotte Observer and came across the article. I hope writing this book will help you have peace. Looking forward to reading the book.
Patty,
Thank you for sharing your story. I sent up prayers asking God to heal others through your book. I am thankful to God for providing you with His peace with your past.
My deep and burning desire is to write to help others in any way that God desires. I am in the process of working on a project and would appreciate any feedback. I would love to receive a copy of your book.
I pray God's blessings on the work that you are doing.
FayeApple
lxshannon@yahoo.com
Would love to read your book. I'm now inspired to write my story of my own great-grandfather who was a very interesting character who lost a leg while fighting in the Civil War as a Union soldier, from Kentucky.
Becky Cauble
I just finished reading your story in the paper. It is an incredible reminder of the ways that God works to heal His children, even when we are not completely aware of the source of the pain. I look forward to reading your book.
Dear Ms. Hickman ~
Having just read the interview/article in today's "Charlotte Observer" I feel compelled to write you.
1. I am proud of your courage [well, God's courage in you] to use your newly-discovered past in such a public way to help with your healing and to help others.
2. Our histories are very similar with different endings. Yours is beautiful, simply beautiful.
Please accept my sincere sympathies for the loss of your daughter. Children are never supposed to die before their parents.
Keep up the good fight in a fallen and unfair world.
Sincerely,
Noelle J. Congdon
I just read your article. In the recent news of the 7 or 8 year old sexually assaulted and killed, just brings anger to me. I agree that most child sexual abuse is being done by those who were abused them selves. Call me harsh I want these offenders to have the death penality. I was sexually abused as a child and my innocent bnature was taken to early and continues to affect me in every area of my life. Thanks would love to receive this book. Thanks so much for sharing.
Patty, I applaud your courage to go through with discovering your painful past. It is was great to hear your night terrors are over. I would love to hear you speak in the Charlotte area sometime. How does one find out when and where those events are held?
I am also taken by the photo of you as a child. It looks very much like my youngest son before we adopted him from Russia. Same hair and look on his face. Unfortunately we will never know if he was plagued by similar problems.
I would love to read your book! One way or another, I will get my self a copy!
Thank you for sharing your heart. I know it was hard, but also know Christ will use your story to help others!
Mrs. Kelly:
I believe that you would really enjoy reading this book for its take on writing, dreams, autoethnography, etc. It is a quick read and very inspiring. It was written by an UNCG professor in the Department of Communication.
Christopher Pouolos. (2009) Accidental Ethnography: An Enquiry into family secrecy. Walnut Creek, CA: Left Coast Press.
Jonathan Ray
Patty: I'm so glad your story was in today's Observer. I often feel so isolated as if noone else could possible have been abused in the past as I have. I have been very blessed and there is no doubt that God has been with me every step of the way. Reading the comments from others really made me wish there was some sort of forum where we could all talk with one another. Several years ago, I could have never talked about it but not I realize that it is part of who I am and it isn't my fault. I have been blessed and I have stopped the cycle of abuse for which I am extremely proud and give all the praise to God.
I was very moved by your article. It was very inspiring.
Stephanie West
I want to commend you for the courage it takes to share your story, and by all means, you may chat at this forum and comment upon each other's stories. Words to Go was created so that readers could connect with the stories of other authors. But we are each a slate with a unique story written upon us;but look at how our commonality makes us stronger, wiser, and more courageous to offer support.Thank you for blessing me back. Thank you for your comments and support.
To Managing
Please don't be embarrassed. It's NEVER a child's fault. Find a good counselor. Then start sharing, especially with your husband and daughter. It's amazing how children understand and can help us heal.
Patty,
I was so touched by your story in the Observer this past week! I want and need for my 26-year old daughter to read your story! She was molested by her step-father, my ex-husband, when she was 11 years old. She is just now starting to feel the need to deal with the many emotional scars that it has left her with! I've been searching for ways to help her and I know your book will be an inspiration to her. Thanks so much for sharing your story!
Kozie Phibbs
Huntersville, NC
koziep@aol.com
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