We're Not So Different

Ever want to lie down and die? Hide under the bed? Think you’re the only person in the world who has your problems? That everyone hates you and that you don’t have one real friend left in the world? So did Elijah.

Ever think your dad's not telling you everything? That your sibling hates you? That other men are after your wife? That your kids fight and behave worse than everyone else’s kids? Meet Isaac.

Ever think that your dreams will never come true? That there’s a conspiracy against you? That lies are being spread about you? Daniel knew events before they happened, yet he spent most of his coming-of-age years enslaved.

Ever think that your past is worse than everyone else’s past? That men will never stop using you? That you’ll never get a break or find acceptance in anyone of importance’s eyes? So did a woman who stopped for bottled water. She found approval in the eyes of the Master of the Universe disguised in carpenter’s clothes.

Ever think that your way is right, that your religion will trump all others until you’re dumbstruck one day to realize you were wrong all along? That you missed God by miles because you didn’t know him as well as you thought? Paul, a man of high religious pedigree, called himself “the chief of sinners.”

Because we go through so many difficulties and make choices that turn out horribly wrong we think that our struggles are what keep us from attaining any sort of great purpose in life. We start to believe that it’s our problems that keep us from reaching into life and pulling out the wondrous plum of happiness that will finally make us realize why we’re here. But it’s in the middle of problems and crisis that all of these people came to realize their dependence on God. Just when each person thought his or her days as a major player was over, God stepped in and showed that His playing field had a different playbook. Are you going through a season of sorrow? Does it seem like you can’t depend on friends to support you when you need them most? Do family members disappoint you? The questions swirling around your wonderful mind have been circulating since ancient times. We haven’t evolved at all. We’re just as dependent on our Creator as the first family that introduced dysfunction into humankind.
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Holiday Freedom

Even though I have without a doubt the best in-laws in the world, we aren’t traveling to see the Hickmans this year, a decision that was difficult to make but with one too many ministry obligations, we had to bow out. Bowing out can cause guilt to set in, if you allow it.

For many years, my spouse and I experienced great guilt around the holidays, so much so that we started dreading the holidays almost immediately after Halloween had passed. We were supposed to be at both in-laws home on the exact day and at the exact same hour—noon—or else we were horrible folks.

We sang the Thanksgiving song with our children, “Over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house we go,” but all the while there was a knot in the pit of my stomach. I knew that for every minute I lingered at my husband’s family’s home beyond the noon hour, my own mother paced, looking out the window for us to drive up.

My sons are coming of age, meaning the marrying age. My hubby and I have already filled up the holidays with giving outside of ourselves, so much so, that hopefully when our boys take on their own families, if they come home they may join us in our ministry endeavors and if not, we have families outside of our own who need encouragement.

Holiday Freedom is steeped in scriptural truths. Jesus came to lighten our yokes, to set the captives free, to break the bondage of sin off of us; yet we Christians, because of the very nature of family togetherness that we tout, allow it to weaken the very courage and forthrightness we proclaim throughout the rest of the year. Family enablement is not only complicated but unhealthy.

Holidays should be a time of mirth and Thanksgiving; families should gather around the love and freedom that they share in Christ. We should also share that joy with family members who might sense that joy in us and be drawn to it. But if we are forced into some habitual mold designed by someone else for us, it’s going to feel awkward because we were not made to wear the yoke of anyone but our Creator who died fitting it just so lightly.

This week we are joining our church family in some good works and then taking our sons to the mountains. It’s becoming a tradition for us, but one they do not have to follow when they leave us and cleave to their own wives. Expectations ought to be as flexible as God’s grace. I’m thankful for grace.