You Had Me at , "Hello."

The one thing that my husband defaults to in church outreach is old fashioned door-to-door evangelism. It's an annoying hold-over from the 70's and 80's that, for him, is still effective. But in the beginning, it was just the two of us; we had started the church by knocking doors on Sunday mornings. One lady opened the door and I smiled and before I could say a word, she yelled, “No!” and slammed the door. It was so dehumanizing that I walked back to the car in a huff and told my hubby, “It’s not for me.”

Then nearly a decade later, after a few years studying as a bible teacher had given me more confidence, I gave it another try. Again, it was a Sunday. My husband had started another outreach where he covered our church sign with a banner announcing we had gone out into the community to serve others.

This time an older woman opened the door and I smiled and she smiled back. I told her that I was a minister’s wife and that a few of us had come to help out in the neighborhood. Behind me, a group of children were busy sweeping leaves off her walk. I handed her a bag of oranges and she was so taken off guard that she let me talk for a bit. I had a Bible in my hand, but mostly I just chatted for a bit, telling her a story of how I had come to know God. My story interested her, so I was feeling relaxed and confident. I asked her what she believed about God. There were so many things she believed that it was difficult to connect the dots. She didn’t know any foundational truths and the longer she talked the more I realized that she had skirted the whole gospel message trading it for a lot of philosophical beliefs. I told her that I was not a know-it-all but that I’d be glad to discuss any questions she had about God or faith. She asked me one question after another. So far so good; I actually knew where to find each answer in the Bible. I was thumbing backward and forward when she stopped me and said, “Excuse me. But if I don’t believe the Bible, what good does it do for you to read from it? You had me when you were telling me your stories.” I laughed, mostly at myself for thinking she'd be impressed with my biblical knowledge. Then I returned to what she had requested. I told her a story that showed how God had been with me even when I thought he had abandoned me. By that time our group was leaving. She seemed sad that I had to leave. But I had enjoyed getting to know a woman who, up until that Sunday, had been a stranger to me.

What I learned that day was that the distance between one person and God is not wrapped up only in what they believe. Yes, the distance between her and God was huge because she couldn’t accept the basic truths of God’s Word. But the distance was swallowed up when I crossed her walk, got some kids sweeping her walk, and handed her a gift of love and friendship.

Last week I said that I would discuss the things that put distance between us and God. In the beginning it’s usually something as small as one person reaching out to another in friendship to help them cross the chasm of disbelief. When that happens, suddenly it doesn’t matter any more what they don’t believe. What matters is that they opened up their heart to ours so that the Holy Spirit could begin the gentle work of wooing that person closer to God’s heart.

Move Toward God

This morning I was thinking about a friend who has made a success of her ministry. You could say she is at the pinnacle of success if measuring monetarily—and we all need financial backing in our ministries. I haven’t heard from her in years. She was one of those friends for a season; we’ve both gone down different paths that have separated us geographically. But it seems that she has made some vain choices that are affecting her ministry. It could be idle gossip. Sometimes when a person finally makes a success of her work, jealous, not-so-true friends exaggerate a person’s choices; the resulting stories circulate out of a smug justification born of envy. But the facts point toward the evidence that she’s gotten caught up in the celebrity web. I hope that’s not true. To have known her earlier forthright stance about humility, I can’t imagine her allowing that kind of temptation. I’ve seen this happen to really good ministry folks but I also have friends who refuse the temptation of celebrity, like the apostles when the public tried to worship them. And their ministries are thriving. From what I can glean from the Word, to step into that mire is the same as taking the first step away from God.

I thought I would blog a few posts next week about the ways that we can choose to either step away or move closer toward God. I need it if for no other reason but to remind myself that if my godly, beautiful friend can stumble blindly into a pit, then how much more can someone like me, fatally flawed woman.

Writing: For the Work-At-Home Mom

What is your idea of a successful life? Mine has changed greatly over the years. That’s due in great part to the deep well of grace I’ve needed as a work-at-home mom.


When I started writing my first book, the week I received my contract was also the week my hubby hauled into the living room three sweet children in need of long term care. In addition to our own three, ages twelve to two, three more kids was a load. The baby had attachment issues and a stomach disorder that caused him to cry well into the early morning hours. We had planned and sacrificed to be debt free so that I could come home and build a full time writing career. To have the tables turn on me so suddenly made me feel like a dispensable pawn in life’s scheme. I invited a young single woman to move in with us for that season and she took on the task of sitting up with the baby until he fell asleep. But I still had all of the others to care for and a book to write.
I’m not good at writing with any noise at all, not like some writers that peck away with the earphones on. My only choice was to get up at three in the morning when everyone was sleeping. I wrote until dawn and did that for six months until my first book was finished--almost exactly the length of time we cared for those children.
It taught me that I didn’t have to have the perfect circumstances to write. It also helped me to build some disciplinary muscles, to be aware of the down time of my family so that I could grab some up time at my computer. Best of all, I learned to work feet-on-the-ground, realizing what I could still accomplish and have the life I really wanted, to be at home and watch my family grow while I grew in the career I loved.

Success for me is not about having a New York Times bestselling book, but about building the life you want. Funny how the training season helps transform not only writing but personal goals. Funny too, how the training season never ends.

“Trying hard can accomplish so much. If you are serious . . . you will have to enter into a life of training.” John Ortberg

Patty Discusses Painted Dresses in Your Area

This week Patty will discuss Painted Dresses on these radio stations:

KNEO 91.7 The Word
Host Adam Winkler
Neosho, MO

WWJC
Host Ron Hanson
Duluth, MN

WCVO-Spirit-FM
Host Fred Young
Camdenton, MO

KFUO
Host Diane Summers
St. Louis, MO

Christian Work-At-Home Mom
Internet Radio
Jill Hart
Fri. 10:30 a.m. EST

Some will be taped and played later while some are aired live. Check your local station’s listings for times and dates.

Painted Dresses Generating Reader Buzz

I’m hearing great news through a reader who told me the Barnes & Noble associate told her that they’ve ordered yet a third large shipment of Painted Dresses. Then another reader reported that she asked to have her name placed on the waiting list at a large municipal library and was told that she would have to wait—she was number 46!

With all of this buzz, though, I still haven’t heard about sales in many other places. If you have a story to tell about trying to find Painted Dresses, just email me at pattyhickman@bellsouth.net. Be sure to tell your local store managers—Stock up!!

Thank you, dear readers, for continuing to spread the word about Painted Dresses!

Come On People

Since I first watched a mesmerizing and funny man demonstrate his Picture Pages on children’s television, I’ve been a fan of Bill Cosby. That might make my only claim to fame the fact that I’m Bill Cosby’s oldest fan. I’ve eagerly enjoyed his stand-up comedy, his Fat Albert cartoons, his own brand of Kids Say the Darndest Things, and then the show that made everyone else sit up and take notice--The Cosby Show. Bill Cosby proved that you can make people laugh on an intelligent level without taking your material down into the sewer. He reminds us that we are flawed humans but he doesn’t leave us there. Bill Cosby goads us into change and then into teaching others that they too can change. Bill Cosby is the reason I went back to school and finished my master’s degree.

Following my years volunteering in the inner cities of Baton Rouge, I became aware of how enabling through hand-outs rather than mentoring in a reciprocal fashion was what the parents needed more than our free milk and shoes (although it felt good to provide them--but ministry should not be focused on a "warm fuzzies" theology). At the end of the documentary The Boys of Baraka, Bill holds court with a litany of opinions that has, for some really strange reason, made him a lightning rod of controversy. But since I’m a person who agrees with most everything he says, I’m ordering his book Come on, People.

The Happy and Sad State of the Empty Nest

Jared, our youngest, is moving onto the UNCC campus today. He's the caboose. I was excited when our first two moved into college dorms, but there is something about
packing up the youngest that leaves a mom both sad and elated. If I could bottle this feeling, I'd be rich.

We parents gathered our sons for a final dinner out here in Birkdale Village where we live. As the guys scarfed down pizza, we parents discussed our melancholy. We had all resolved
as parents to keep our homes open for the boys throughout highschool as a safe place for them to gather. Therefore, they could only group date and absolutely no drinking--they said they
wouldn't have done that anyway. So while our friendships have formed a bond as guardians of our coming of age sons, we've all gotten so close that we're going to start fellowshipping
outside of proms and PTO's. We're going to plan some biking and picnic outings.

So the empty nest is not just a place of good-byes but also of some new doors to walk through. But as I look at Jared sleeping in this morning with his Pokemon critters packed away and his
iMac ready for heavy duty, I can't help but smile through the tears and thank God for the blessing of a son who loves Jesus and the life God gave us on loan.
sniff. . .